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Thursday, December 08, 2005

USS William Jefferson Clinton  CVS1


The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its  fleet today. Pictured above: the USS William Jefferson Clinton CVS1 set sail  today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy  and is a standing legacy to President Clinton and his foresight in military  budget cuts. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum  and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an  arsenal comprised of one F14 Tomcat or F18 Hornet aircraft, which although  they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very  menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms  allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified and includes  members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation.

The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a  unit of national defense - in fact in times of conflict its orders are to  remain in hiding in Canada, but will be used extensively for social  experimentation and whatever worthless jobs the ex-commander in chief and his  wife can think of.

It is largely rumored that the ship will also be  the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World."
 [courtsey of the lovely Merrily]
| E-MAIL Real King of France at 12/08/2005 04:14:00 PM PERMLINK Back Link (8) | HOME


"I did not vote for Obama but he is remarkable. In less than three weeks in office he has collected more than $150,000 in back taxes."
Gayle Miller
You know, I'm a dumbass...I looked at that, and thought you were serious. I looke at it....saw the tower...and thought ' could be a vertical takeoff Harrier Jet...Maybe it's sposed to be small and...' then I shook the thought, remembered who we were talking about, and knew nothing named after Clinton could be as cool as I was imagining it :D


It might be funny to you but this is irresponsible and dangerous.

How in the hell did you get this top secret photo of the entire Canadian Navy. This is like publishing a aerial photo of Pearl Harbor in 1941.


Now folks, what we have here has been secret until now. It's a $45,000,000 Phoenix-capable Swift Boat, built in Kerry's state, to patrol the swamps in Afghanistan. The next version, at $65,000,000 will feature a turret mounted F-14 so the gun can be aimed.

Lt. Gen. Tailgunner dick

What you fail to understand, Roger, you right wing moron, is that the carrier is designed so that it will plunge ahead at sixty knots, and then ram into the beach or dock. The sudden stop creates a catapult effect and the plane is launched. This is cutting edge technology that only smart people like Hillary Clinton and Joe Wilson can understand.

Holy crap Howard! It all makes sense now.

For a minute I thought Howard was onto something, but the specs say top speed 5 kts.

No wait! There's more! The 60 - 140 kts speed one shot crash on the beach disposable catapult capability must be a top secret! Shoot. I'm almost as smart as Hillary and Joe for figurin' that one out, and I only have one head and they have two.

Lt. Gen. Tailgunner dick

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