Suicidal glory is the luxury of the irresponsible.
We're not giving up. We're waiting for a better opportunity to win.

 
" I don't think I've ever met a Liberal whom I didn't like on a personal basis. That said, if your goal is to change minds and influence people, it's probably not a good idea to begin by asserting that virtually all elected Democrats are liars. But what the hell."
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Every dollar helps
 
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Our Position on Obama's Election
The person you call President Obama ... ."

Thursday, June 02, 2005


FUN

104
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."



Funeral

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."

"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"



String

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer.

Bartender says, "sorry I don't to string...".

So the string goes outside ties himself up and unravels an end, goes back into the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says "hey aren't you that piece of string that was in here before?"

The string says "No I'm a frayed knot..."



Q&A

Q. What do you call the sweat produced when two rednecks are having sex?

A. Relative humidity.



Visiting Preacher

A visiting minister during the offertory prayer:

Dear Lord," he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."

He would have continued, but at that silent, awkward moment when he paused for a breath, one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully for a change!) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice,

"Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"

Church was pretty much over at that point...



Exchange Rate

An Asian man was trying to exchange his yen for dollars and asks the American bank teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dollar fo my yen; today I get only hunat eighty. Why dat?"

The bank teller smiled and responded, "Fluctuations."

The Asian guy frowned and responded, "Well, fluc you white guys, too!"
| E-MAIL Real King of France at 6/02/2005 01:47:00 PM PERMLINK Back Link (3) | HOME


Comments:

"I did not vote for Obama but he is remarkable. In less than three weeks in office he has collected more than $150,000 in back taxes."
Gayle Miller
I like 104!
Have you heard about Nookie Green?
 
~

no to nookie
 
~

It's an old Maine story:

"Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month".

The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional.

"Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "My son, who is "Nookie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say 10 Hail Mary's and stop your sinning."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly, a gorgeous, tall woman enters.

All the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest.

Her dress is green and very short, with matching, shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy draw a long breath and then gasp, as the woman in the matching green shoes and dress sits with her legs slightly spread apart directly in front of them.

The priest turns to the altar boy and asks, "Is that Nookie Green?"

The altar boy, whose eyes are popping out of his head, replies, "No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes.........
 
~

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