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Our Position on Obama's Election
The person you call President Obama ... ."

Saturday, October 08, 2005


A very practical joke
Not long ago I used a personal contact (I once sat next to Merry Loizeaux in English class) to play a little joke on the New York Times.

The Loizeaux family runs a business called Controlled Demolition.  I know you've heard of them.  They are the people who perfected the demolition of buildings using explosives,without so much as cracking a window in the building next door.  I bet you see where this is headed, don't you?

I wormed my way into CD's inner sanctum by invoking Merry's name ("we used to sit side-by-side in English class at THS").  Having gained their confidence, I explained that my name was Pinch Sulzberger, and that I wanted one of my properties razed to make way for a luxury high rise at
229 West 43rd Street in Manhattan.  After signing some papers, the demolition was set for 12 Noon last Friday a year ago.

Problem 1.  They wanted a down payment of $1,200,000
Problem 2   I wrote the check

I bet you see where this is going.  The family lawyers were able to get all kinds of affidavits from the doctors, and I avoided some real unpleasantness.  Still, not a day goes by that I don't read something like this, and wish to hell I had
$1,200,000.  I bet you do to?  Don't you?  Well, do something about it. 

| E-MAIL Real King of France at 10/08/2005 09:12:00 AM PERMLINK Back Link (3) | HOME


Comments:

"I did not vote for Obama but he is remarkable. In less than three weeks in office he has collected more than $150,000 in back taxes."
Gayle Miller
LINKING

"I bet you see where this is going. The family lawyers were able to get all kinds of affidavits from the doctors, and I avoided some real unpleasantness".

AND

"No explanation about how a guy so young died, but the consensus seems to be heroin overdose, which fits ("I like the FedEx guy, 'cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it! And he's always on time")".

Makes me wonder if you have to be self-destructive to be a good comedian.
 
~

Have we actually met?
 
~

> They are the people who perfected the demolition of buildings using explosives,without so much as cracking a window in the building next door

Well, legally. The Youngstown mob was doing this in the 1920s. (New York is AKA The Big Apple; Youngstown is AKA Bombtown USA.)

Things had quieted down by the 1970s. But I saw one case where two businesses weren't just neighbors, but the buildings shared a wall. The building to the left of the wall was totaled, just bring in a front-end loader and fill the dump trucks. The building to the right, as you say, didn't have so much as a cracked pane of glass.
 
~

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